BONUS.......quizzes & photo stalking

02.13.14

 You literally do not have to wonder who you are...ever. There's a quiz for that.

 It's so handy. All the questions I've ever wanted answered aren't going to take pain, suffering, joy or experience in order to receive said answer. Instead, all I have to do is open my web browser, click in the question bar on the Google homepage because (even though I see the cursor that's already appeared in the box, I don't necessarily trust it to have had the time to access my senior citizen lap-top's mouse pad),
so I click in the box and I ask for answers;
1. Why Am I Having Trouble Focusing?
     A: You have adult ADD and are in immediate need of drugs to control your damn self. Source - Web Ph D (I'm protecting the website's anonymity).

2. Am I Gay?
    A: Duh. But you like dick sometimes, too. You're going to struggle like hell with this one, hahahaha! Source - Anne Coulter (take that you uncool strumpet)

3. Are My Parents Really My Parents?
    A: No. And they tried to give you up several times before running out of gas money and just deciding you could stay with them if you lived. Source - The Otey Family's 2001 Family Reunion

4. Will I Live A Long Life?
     A: Oh absolutely - but you're going to struggle like hell with this one, hahahahaha! Source - my own funny joke (see #2)

 As you can see, Google has friends in high places. Google knows you. It feels you. It's inside you because it's filthy but you just can't quit it.

 Photo stalking is another thing the internet has given us. What's great about it is - everyone's doing it! So you're not the creep! You're just going with the times. You're hip! You're on point! You're going to be able to weed out the weak from the strong simply by looking at photos of them in their only escape from responsibility and the other 99%. It's allowed us to judge, wrongfully or not. It's also given us the self-esteem that comes from realizing you're so much better off than the other 1% of your friends. And there's really nothing quite like peace of mind to help you sink into your perfectly molded memory foam mattress.