Coporate Irresponsibility

02.16.14

 One week ago today, I saw a commercial that I found inappropriate and provocative (not sexually. Unless you're into murder fantasy, then you're going to LOVE this).
 It was a commercial for Jello. I followed it pretty well at the time but it's been a week and I didn't have room for that memory. What I do remember of it is, it went from a family eating in their kitchen to a truck of filled with the jello gelatin powder backing up to their pool and proceeding to relieve their approximately three tons of cargo into the family pool. Instead of calling the authorities or at least Googling the safety of "swimming" in a pool full of gelled jello, the family threw caution to the wind and dove right in.
 At least, that's what we're meant to believe because that is the moment that the commercial ends. It begs the question; when do we address corporate responsibility in advertising?
 It didn't take the public long to crucify Joe Camel for being cool and making adult choices, but when Jello suggests, nay demonstrates, swimming in a pool full of their dense substance, we just sit back and laugh and laugh. While you know there are thousands dead because they are just dumb enough to make this their last contribution to society.
 And yet, I see no picket signs, no uproar among MADD members or PBS supporters. In fact, if anything, hospitals are proving they support this type of irresponsible, corporate behavior by serving even more jello than they have in years past!
 I am not saying jello doesn't have its place in Americana - it certainly does. Where would this country be if we couldn't make a jello cake that can double as a symbol for our patriotism? Where would our children be if we deprived the children of jello; the American Medical Association's most herbal remedy.
 Well I tell you where we wouldn't be; America, goddammit.
 Of course, this raises a unique conundrum indeed; how do we support the American freedom of speech whilst boycotting the very food that made this country what it is today? My only idea is this; when you pick up that box, put disgust behind it. Genuine disgust; make sure you crinkle your nose after sniffing the box. Shake your head as you place it with disdain in your basket, and don't stop shaking your head until you're out of the store. If you hold back, no one will believe you're on the side of the angels.